


Dungeons and Dayquil

by sfblah



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: F/M, Female Sneezing, Illness, Sneezing, sneeze fetish, sneeze fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27016660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sfblah/pseuds/sfblah
Summary: A D&D player with a cold gets her in-game character into trouble.





	Dungeons and Dayquil

Nephine Trismaer crept through a cold, damp tunnel, trailing her fingertips along the wall to her left. She didn’t carry a torch or any other source of light, instead relying on her natural high elf darkvision to see. With each step she took, her summoned mage hand swept back and forth across the floor twenty feet ahead. So far she hadn’t found any traces of traps, at least not yet.

The rogue’s pace gradually slowed as she became distracted. Nephine’s eyes narrowed, and despite her desire to keep a low profile, she couldn’t help but sniff quietly. She rubbed an outstretched finger back and forth under her nose, which had become increasingly ticklish in the past few minutes. Once she’d massaged the irritation in her nostrils down to a dull tingle, Nephine sniffed again and pressed on.

Suddenly Nephine stopped in her tracks and sank low to the ground. She held up a fist, prompting her companions to stop as well.

“Hold on,” said the rogue, punctuating her sentence with another quiet sniff.

“What is it?” asked Topryss the gnome wizard. Beside him, Degre the half-orc paladin shrugged.

“Probably a trap.”

“Yeah, it’s a trap,” confirmed Nephine, inching a few steps forward. She slid her index finger across the underside of her nose, and then she re-cast mage hand. This time, the spectral appendage removed a set of thieves’ tools from a pouch on Nephine’s leather vest, and then it began to float ahead into the darkness. Before she could will her mage hand to disarm the trap, however, the elf’s tickly nose began to bother her again.

_“Hhhh-! Hh-hih! Hi’Chsh!”_

* * *

“Alright, roll your thieves’ tools at disadvantage,” said Shaun, ducking behind his dungeon master’s screen to check some notes.

Rachel took a moment to respond as she struggled with the lingering tickle in her nose. She scrunched up her face and pressed her index finger firmly against her nostrils, and one sniff later, she finally spoke up.

“Wait, disadvantage?”

“Yeah,” Shaun replied, briefly peeking back over his screen. “‘Cause you sneezed.”

“Oh,” Rachel acknowledged with an embarrassed giggle. Beside her, Max gave an amused snort and Tyler briefly held up a hand before letting it fall back into his lap. Rachel sniffed once more, flicked the tip of her nose up with the side of her finger, and then she reached for her d20. She rolled the round die twice and stored the lower number. Fortunately it still wasn’t too bad with her proficiency modifier added.

“Sixteen,” she announced, sitting up straight. Shaun glanced down at his notes once more, and then he looked back at Rachel with a smile.

“You disarm the trap.”

* * *

After returning her tools to the correct pouch, Nephine stood and resumed walking. Her mage hand discovered no further traps, but the elf didn’t get far before she felt another tickle in her nose. She gently rubbed a finger back and forth under her nostrils, but try as she might, the fluttery sensation continued to build.

 _“Hih…”_ breathed Nephine, limply waving a hand up and down in front of her face. She guided her fingers to her nostrils, pressing the base of her nose to the side, but the gesture proved futile.

_“Ih… Hih-Chhgh!”_

“Bless you,” said Degre, coming up behind her elven companion. Nephine tried to nod, but she helplessly bobbed forward with another _“Ah-CH!”_ before she could utter a word. Degre smiled and gave an amused chuckle.

“Need a tissue?”

* * *

Plucking a tissue from the box, Rachel held it over her nose and blew powerfully. She slowly shook her head to alternate nostrils, and then she finished by wadding up the tissue and giving a gentle upward wipe. At first she felt relieved, but it didn’t take long for her tickly nose to strike again. Just as she was about to lower the tissue, Rachel gasped and sneezed a frantic _“HA-Chsh!”_ into the crumpled paper.

“You okay?” asked Shaun, sitting up behind his DM screen. Rachel nodded and weakly blew her nose again, not wanting to oversaturate her tissue.

“Yeah,” she responded, giving her nose a firm rub with her finger. “I think I’m done.”

“Here’s hoping,” said Tyler, staring up at the ceiling.

“I dunno,” teased Max, placing a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Rachel’s lookin’ a little shifty.”

Rachel smiled shyly and rubbed her nose again. Max gave her a squeeze and turned back to Shaun.

“What would have happened if she failed the trap?”

The dungeon master shrugged.

“Can’t tell you that. But it probably wouldn’t have gone well. For any of you.”

“Alright, let’s keep going,” said Tyler, leaning forward on the couch.

“Okay, everybody roll me perception.”

Three d20s flew into the center of the table. An eighteen for Max, a thirteen for Tyler, and a six for Rachel.

“Degre and Topryss hear some sounds coming from the next room, some kind of creatures milling about.”

Between Rachel’s low roll and the tortured look on her face, Shaun knew just what to tell her.

“And Nephine’s gonna sneeze.”

_“Ah-CHH!”_

“I thought you were done,” said Tyler, rolling his eyes. Rachel gave an embarrassed giggle, keeping her hands cupped over her nose.

“Sorry!” she said, gently wiping her nostrils against the back of her wrist.

“Anyway, sounds like there’s something in front of us,” said Max, placing a hand on her chin. “You wanna go take a look?”

Rachel ran a finger across the underside of her nose and nodded. Shaun produced a piece of paper from behind his screen and placed it in the middle of the table, revealing a map of the next room.

“Alright, make a stealth check as you enter.”

* * *

Nephine peeked through the doorway, keeping low to the ground. A group of five goblins were gathered around a small fire pit in the center of the room, though luckily the light was fairly dim and the edges of the chamber were still dark enough to hide in. The elf made use of her message spell to inform her party of the danger, as well as her plan to sneak around to the far side of the room and catch the goblins in a two-pronged attack.

The squat green creatures remained oblivious to Nephine as she crept across the room. Hugging the walls was the most indirect route possible, but it was the only way to stay hidden, and the room wasn’t especially large either. Everything was going smoothly, at least until Nephine reached the halfway point. The elf sniffed quietly, and although it was nearly silent, she reflexively brought a hand up to cover her face. Her nose was tickling again, causing her to squint and flare her nostrils involuntarily.

 _“Hih!”_ Nephine gasped, briefly closing her eyes. She extended her index finger and held it firmly across the underside of her nose, hoping to delay the inevitable. After just a few more seconds, the rogue knew she was out of time. Nephine shifted her hand and firmly squeezed her nostrils between her thumb and forefinger.

_“Ah-hnnt!”_

* * *

“Roll me another stealth check.”

Rachel continued to hold her nose, but she smiled and nodded. Tyler was less amused.

“Seriously? Are you gonna do this every time?”

Shaun shrugged, watching as Rachel grabbed herself a new tissue.

“I dunno. Rachel, was that an in-character sneeze?”

Max snorted in amusement, and once Rachel finished blowing her nose, she laughed too.

“I guess,” she giggled, wiping her tissue back and forth under her nostrils. Tyler threw up his hands and leaned back on the couch.

“Actually, I’ll give you advantage, since you held it in,” Shaun added.

“Okay,” Rachel said with a shy smile. She rolled twice, this time taking the higher number.

“Twenty one.”

* * *

Nephine breathed a sigh of relief. The goblins were too busy arguing over their food to notice the elf’s sneeze. She carefully rubbed her nose left and right, and then she continued creeping across the room. Once she was in position, Nephine readied her shortbow and took aim. Five goblins were hardly a threat to the full party, but she always liked going for sneak attacks when she could.

An arrow silently sailed toward the goblins, felling one of them instantly. Nephine held perfectly still, forcing the creatures to search for the source of the attack. The goblins drew their weapons and began to spread out from the fire pit. Were she in a better position, Nephine was confident she could pick all of them off, but in her current situation she’d prefer not to have all four of them bearing down on her at once. Unfortunately, that would prove more difficult than she’d hoped.

The high elf’s nose tickled. Her concentration faltered as she reached a hand up to her face and rubbed back and forth under her nostrils. The goblins were still unaware of her location, but Nephine felt a sneeze coming on. Her eyelids fluttered as she continued to rub her nose, and before she could move her hand to squeeze her nostrils shut, she bobbed forward with a sharp _“HA-Chsh!”_

* * *

“Stealth check.”

“Come on, _really?”_

“Crap. What’s a ten get me?”

* * *

One of the goblins turned in Nephine’s direction. It still didn’t seem to know her exact position, but it was on to her. Feeling panicked, the elf drew an arrow and quickly fired at the creature. This time her shot missed, and the goblin managed to pinpoint her in the darkness. Nephine braced herself as the goblin charged toward her, drawing the attention of its companions, but before they could reach her, the rest of her party arrived.

 _“Fire bolt!”_ declared Topryss, launching a small flame at one of the goblins. The creature flailed around in pain, but it managed to weather the attack and then turned its attention to the gnome wizard. Degre charged past them into the center of the room, engaging two of the remaining goblins. Bellowing a fearsome battle cry, the paladin swung her greatsword with enough force to cleave one of her opponents in half in a single blow.

The goblin closest to Nephine continued to approach her. Once it was within reach, she exchanged her bow for her shortsword and plunged it into the goblin’s stomach. The creature was bloodied, but it managed to survive the attack. Nephine disengaged and moved closer to Degre for support as the half-orc effortlessly slew another enemy. At the same time, Topryss jabbed his quarterstaff at the burnt goblin before him knocking it to the ground.

Sensing that its companions were no more, the goblin chasing Nephine began to cower. It dropped its club to the floor and backed away, heading for the door at the far end of the room.

“Hang on, I speak goblin,” said Topryss, moving to pursue.

“You wanna talk to it?” Degre asked incredulously. “Okay! Go talk to it!”

The paladin turned to Nephine, rolling her eyes.

“Just shoot it.”

Nephine giggled and rubbed her nose, but before she could say a word, she gasped and gave a sudden _“Ah-CH!”_

Topryss returned to the room, looking defeated. The goblin must have gotten away.

“Want to take a short rest?” he asked. Degre and Nephine both nodded in agreement, and the three adventurers sat down around the fire.

* * *

Tyler immediately stood up from the couch and headed to the kitchen for a drink. Max yawned, reaching her arms up toward the ceiling, and Rachel leaned forward to grab a tissue, pulling the last one from the box.

“I’ll get you another one,” said Shaun, following Tyler to the kitchen. Rachel nodded as she brought the tissue up to her nostrils.

“Thanks.”

“You sure you’re okay, Rach?” asked Max, laying down on the couch beside her friend. Rachel took a deep breath through her mouth and blew powerfully into the tissue. Her head felt a bit clearer, but her nose was still tickly as ever. She sniffed dejectedly and wiped the tissue across her nostrils.

“Ugh, I think I’m catching a cold,” Rachel groaned, sinking into the couch cushions.

“You good to keep going?” Shaun asked as he returned to the room. He placed a new tissue box on the table in front of Rachel, earning a shy smile from her.

“I’m okay, thanks.”

“Can her cold be cured from the rest?” asked Tyler as he sat back down on the couch with a can of beer. Shaun glanced back and forth between him and Rachel.

“Well, how’re you feeling?”

“Nose tickles,” Rachel complained, closing her eyes and sliding a finger back and forth under her nostrils. Shaun shrugged, clasped his hands together, and turned back to Tyler.

“Well, there you have it.”

“Whatever.”

* * *

Degre and Topryss stood and headed for the door at the back of the room. Nephine lagged behind, taking a moment to blow her nose while still sitting at the fire. Once she finished, the high elf quickly skipped after the rest of the party. Degre smiled as the rogue rejoined the group, but much to Nephine’s dismay, her nose still felt heavy and damp. She sniffled regularly as she walked, broken up by the occasional harsh snuffle when she rubbed her nose.

As the rogue of the party, it was typically Nephine’s job to lead. She was the most likely to notice enemies ahead, and the most capable of detecting traps. In her sluggish state, however, Topryss had taken over her duties and she trudged along at the rear of the pack. Eventually the elf’s sniffling stopped, but only because she’d been paralyzed by a building sneeze.

  
_“Hhh-! Haah… Ih’Chhsh!”_

“Is this going to be a problem?” Topryss asked without so much as a glance over his shoulder. Nephine smiled awkwardly behind her hands as she covered her nose, though she could tell the gnome was getting properly annoyed.

“I’m sorry!” Nephine replied, unable to stop herself from giggling. She’d never been fond of having a cold, but everything had turned out alright so far. If nothing else, her sneezing seemed a bit more fun than usual.

After thoroughly blowing her nose one more time, Nephine felt relieved. She had a feeling her renewed energy would only be temporary, but her sniffles were cured and she resumed her position at the head of the pack. Her mage hand swept back and forth across the floor to check for traps, and she kept her ears open for any sign of more goblins. Eventually she even managed to spot a trail of bloody footprints on the floor, clearly left by the wounded goblin that had fled from the battle. The tracks led to another room, and before arriving, all three party members heard the telltale sounds of a goblin camp.

Nephine stole a peek into the room, and what she saw made her glad she hadn’t simply tried to sneak through again. Four goblins sat around another fire, and two more patrolled the perimeter, checking the chamber’s multiple entrances. The wounded straggler was nowhere to be seen, but it was entirely possible he’d been sent off somewhere else to recover. To make matters worse, a pair of hobgoblins stood guard beside an altar at the back of the room. Nephine narrowed her eyes at the altar and just managed to make out a golden statue standing atop it. With any luck, it was the same one the wizard from town had sent them to retrieve.

“It looks like they have the statue,” the high elf explained, pausing to give her nostrils a gentle nudge with the back of her wrist. “And a lot of guards.”

“Come on, we can take ‘em!” Degre proclaimed, clenching her fists excitedly. Topryss rolled his eyes and sighed.

“I’ll remind you again that I speak goblin.”

“You _really_ wanna try talking to them?” asked Degre. Nephine sniffed, wiped her nose again and lightly shook her head.

“That’s actually not a bad idea. If you can distract them, I might be able to sneak around to the back of the room and grab the statue.”

“I can distract them by killing them, too,” said Degre with a mischievous grin. Nephine giggled, producing a fresh tissue.

“Well, you might still have to do that,” she said before blowing her nose for good measure. “But there’s a lot of them, and talking to them will at least make it easier for me to get into the room without being seen.”

“Alright, sure,” Degre conceded, letting her shoulders droop. Topryss slowly raised his hands up to the ceiling.

 _“Thank_ you.”

Nephine stayed behind as her gnome and half-orc companions went ahead into the goblin camp. She heard the creatures hiss and screech as they readied themselves for combat, but Topryss’s voice cut through the noise. Goblin was a harsh language, made up of a series of growls and grumbles incomprehensible to anyone who hadn’t studied extensively. Nephine could only guess as to what Topryss was saying. Probably something along the lines of “sorry to interrupt, we are but simple travelers…”

Once the gnome had uttered a few sentences without bloodshed, Nephine began to creep forward. She stayed low to the ground as she rounded the final corner before the room. Topryss and Degre had moved a few feet toward the center of the chamber, giving the rogue a bit more space to work with. Fortunately, the distraction seemed to be working well. The goblins were still a good ways away, and the hobgoblins hadn’t left their post beside the altar. Putting on an amused smile, Nephine slipped off to the side and began to tiptoe around the side of the room.

Unlike the previous encounter, this time the elf had a bit more cover to work with. Makeshift wooden structures and fallen pillars gave her plenty of places to hide on her way to the altar. After crossing roughly a third of the room, Nephine found herself behind a large block of stone, presumably taken from somewhere else in the dungeon. Just as she was about to continue past it, she suddenly froze.

The high elf felt a stabbing tickle in her nose, somewhere far up inside, too deep to be reached with a good rub. She clapped a hand over her mouth and moved her fingers up to lightly squeeze her nostrils. The tickle had come on so fast that she knew she only had a few more seconds until she sneezed. Nephine drew a deep breath, and then she firmly grabbed the base of her nose and managed to successfully stifle a desperate _“Ah-HNnt!”_

* * *

“Ugh, stealth check?” Rachel asked wearily. She rolled the sides of her nostrils around between her thumb and forefinger before sniffing harshly and wiping her nose on the back of her hand.

“You know it,” said Shaun, grinning to himself as he checked on the goblins’ passive perception.

“You better not get caught,” Tyler groaned, immediately catching Shaun’s attention.

“The goblins start getting rowdy, wondering what you just said in common.”

Tyler’s eyes widened and he stared intently at the map of the room.

“Uh… I say I was just… Exclaiming my gratitude at their hospitality. Do we have any food we could give them?”

“I don’t exactly have a turkey leg in my back pocket,” said Max, clasping her hands behind her head. “And I doubt they’re going to want travel rations.”

“One of the hobgoblins steps forward and says, in common, your puny man-rations will do fine. _If you give us all of them.”_

“Nineteen,” Rachel finally spoke up, holding a tissue to her nose. Shaun smiled and gave her a nod.

“You’re good.”

* * *

After catching her breath, Nephine peeked out of her hiding place to survey the situation. For some reason, Degre was removing her rations from her pack and laying them on the floor. Strange negotiation tactic, but as long as it was holding the goblins’ attention, she couldn’t complain. Even better, one of the hobgoblins had moved away from the altar. Maybe she’d even be able to grab the statue with her mage hand.

The rogue continued on, quickening her pace somewhat. She’d put some good distance between herself and the goblins, leaving only the one hobgoblin to contend with. A sudden roar made her freeze in place, though after a moment it became clear she hadn’t been spotted. The lead hobgoblin spoke up again, instructing Degre and Topryss to leave. The gnome obliged, but Degre stood her ground, earning the ire of both the hobgoblin and her wizard companion.

Taking advantage of the commotion, Nephine hurried forward until she was as close to the altar as she could be while still behind some form of cover. After taking a second to visually measure the distance, she breathed a sigh of relief when she realized it was just within reach of her mage hand. Nephine summoned the spectral appendage, this time willing it to become invisible, and then she sent it out to retrieve the statue. It wasn’t particularly large, but being made of solid gold nearly put it over the weight limit for her mage hand. Fortunately she was able to lift it up and begin pulling it toward herself, and the goblins were none the wiser.

“Fine, we’ll leave,” Degre finally said. The lead hobgoblin grumbled and turned away, and it suddenly gave a low growl as it noticed the empty surface of the altar.

“You took statue! How!?” the creature demanded, whirling around and jabbing a finger at the paladin. Degre shrugged.

“What statue? We’ve been right here this whole time.”

With said statue safely in her pack, Nephine began to retrace her steps toward the entrance to the room. Unfortunately, she barely made it five feet before disaster struck. A sharp tickle deep up her nose made the high elf clench her eyes shut, and she barely had time to flare her nostrils before doubling over with an uncharacteristically loud _“HAA-CHhsh!”_

* * *

“Whoa, that was a big one!” Max teased, rubbing her friend’s back as she cradled her tickly nose with a tissue.

“Sorry,” Rachel mumbled, simultaneously blushing and smiling.

“Yeah, I don’t think I can even let you roll for that one,” Shaun said with a chuckle. Rachel’s blush deepened and she avoided eye contact as she blew her nose.

“Great,” said Tyler, taking a sip of his beer. “And we were _this_ close. Whatever, don’t worry, Max and I will save you.”

* * *

“Alright, let’s go!” Degre exclaimed, drawing her greatsword. She charged headfirst into the mob of goblins, though as dangerous as that was, Nephine had her own problems to contend with. The hobgoblin still guarding the altar honed in on her, racing around the overturned cart Nephine had previously been hiding behind. Nephine drew her shortsword and cast ray of frost at her opponent, dealing a meager amount of damage but slowing the hobgoblin’s advance.

 _“Ice knife!”_ shouted Topryss, firing a spell into the other hobgoblin. The larger creature managed to shrug off the hit, but the ensuing explosion of ice toppled two of its underlings. Meanwhile, Degre continued to hack and slash her way through the remaining goblins, having just a bit too much fun.

Nephine, however, felt as though she were all alone. She only had the single hobgoblin to contend with, but she was cut off from her companions by a wall of broken stone and splintered wood. Her attempt to outpace the creature with another ray of frost failed as an untimely _“Hih-CHh!”_ cause the spell to miss. Before Nephine could retreat, the hobgoblin stomped up to her and swung its longsword with both hands.

The blade struck Nephine’s chest, staggering her. She retaliated with her shortsword, but the hobgoblin managed to deflect her attack with its shield. This time the rogue managed to disengage and back away, though she knew her opponent would simply catch up with her again. But, just as the hobgoblin was about to resume its pursuit, Degre shoved herself through a gap in the debris.

 _“Hiyaaa!”_ the half-orc bellowed, swinging her greatsword at the hobgoblin. The blade slammed into the creature’s side and flung its lifeless body up against the wall. Finally, Nephine and Degre shared a smile as they put their weapons away.

“Alright, that’s all of them,” said the paladin, stretching her arms up toward the ceiling.

“We’re taking a long rest,” Topryss demanded, sitting down by the fire. Degre huffed and headed back toward the center of the room.

“What, already?”

* * *

“I want my spell slots back,” Tyler grumbled, leaning back on the couch. Max rolled her eyes at him, but she wasn’t about to stop him. After yawning deeply, she got up and headed for the nearest bathroom. Tyler shortly headed upstairs to do the same, and Rachel took the opportunity to sprawl out on the couch. She powerfully blew her nose, gently placed her head on the armrest and closed her eyes.

“Alright, long rest it is,” said Shaun, moving the miniature figurines for Degre and Nephine close to the fire on the map. “I guess this is a decent time for a break, too.”

Taking a long rest inside a dungeon would normally make him want to spring a random encounter on the party, but he figured the players could use some rest of their own as well. He stood from behind his dungeon master’s screen, trying not to stare as Rachel gave a relaxed moan and curled up on the couch. With her eyes still gently shut, she sniffed and rubbed her fingers back and forth under her nose, causing it to squish from side to side across her face.

Shaun couldn’t help but smile, and he quickly ran upstairs to his bedroom while the other players were still away. He returned with a soft, fuzzy blanket, and after making sure Rachel was properly asleep, he did his best to tuck her in without disturbing her. Once she was nice and warm, Rachel mumbled something unintelligible and pulled the blanket a bit tighter around herself.

* * *

Wrapped up in a thick blanket on top of her bedroll, Nephine might as well have been at the fanciest inn in town. The high elf wrinkled her nose and firmly rubbed her nostrils, though the sneezes that had plagued her throughout the dungeon seemed to be gone. She might have caused some trouble for her party, but in the end, everything turned out alright. Nephine felt much better after resting, though her nose was still a bit tickly. Nothing she couldn’t handle


End file.
